It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
