you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
