I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
