Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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