I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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