she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
