If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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