Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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