It's like a parade of train wrecks.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
