please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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