It's Friday. Sex?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
