On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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