I cockslap morals
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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