Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
