Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
