If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
