apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wish i was in the wii world.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
