I can tuck mytits in my pants
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
