I cockslap morals
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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