They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
