Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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