found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
