Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
