You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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