there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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