Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
