Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so explain again why im purple
no
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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