I wannas sexs uuuuu
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
