he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
