Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
and you fell through a lawn chair
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
