honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
