you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
