You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Houston, we have a squirter
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
