Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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