You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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