Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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