So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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