Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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