I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
