Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I believe in your delicious
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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