hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
