I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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