I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
