I'm going to rape someone's good day.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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