why didn't you poke me back
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
