I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
