yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
please come you make the beer taste better
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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