sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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