I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
