Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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