i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
